Are relationships the key to your success?

Something that came to me while I was in the hospital recovering from my double quad tear has been on my mind since those days. Laying in bed, there was a lot of reflection, and I realized something profound: my recovery wouldn't just depend on medical expertise or physical therapy—it would hinge on the people I chose to surround myself with during this journey.

This insight wasn't just about rehab; it was about life itself. The relationships we cultivate become the architecture of our success, the foundation of our resilience, and ultimately, the determinants of our trajectory. If we bring it back to the research because I’m a nerd like that, I already knew that the Harvard School of Public Health demonstrated this convincingly: individuals with strong, positive social connections show 50% higher odds of longevity and significantly better outcomes in both personal and professional endeavours.

My own journey from injury to recovery, from setback to comeback, illustrated this principle with crystal clarity. In those early days of rehabilitation, I consciously restructured my social architecture. I sought out connections with elite physical therapists who pushed the boundaries of conventional recovery protocols. I cultivated relationships with successful entrepreneurs who understood the mindset required to turn adversity into an advantage. I also leaned heavily on my relationship with the strongest person I know, my wife and spent as much time with my family as possible - the people who I knew would push me to be my best.  Perhaps most importantly, I began to distance myself from those whose response to challenge was to settle for mediocrity.  I didn’t want anyone around me whose advice was to “take it easy.”  That ain’t me!

The transformation was remarkable. Every milestone in my recovery corresponded with a strategic relationship that catalyzed progress. My deepening relationship with Liv showed me that I had all the support I could imagine. The physical therapist who introduced me to blood flow restriction training. The performance coach who reimagined my approach to strength development. The business mentor who helped me see how this challenge could become a platform for helping others.

But here's what's fascinating: While my injury recovery served as a stark illustration of this principle, the pattern holds true across every domain of life. The data is unequivocal—your income typically mirrors the average of your five closest associates. Your professional success correlates strongly with the ambition level of your immediate network. Even your health outcomes align closely with the habits of your inner circle.

Consider this: When I analyzed my most successful periods, a clear pattern emerged. These weren't just times when I worked harder or had better strategies. They were periods when I had strategically surrounded myself with individuals who operated at a level I aspired to reach. Conversely, my periods of stagnation invariably corresponded with maintaining comfortable relationships that neither challenged nor inspired growth.

This isn't about cold-hearted calculation—it's about intentional curation of your life's most important resource: relationships. Just as a skilled investor wouldn't keep underperforming assets in their portfolio, you shouldn't maintain energy-draining relationships in your life. This might sound harsh, but the mathematics of success demand it.

The process begins with honest self-assessment. Look at your current relationship portfolio. Who energizes you? Who challenges you to elevate your standards? Who makes you uncomfortable with complacency? These are your growth catalysts. Conversely, who consistently pulls you toward mediocrity? Who reinforces limiting beliefs? Who subtly undermines your ambitions? These are the relationships that require strategic distancing.

My own transformation accelerated dramatically when I began treating relationship curation as a core success strategy. I started investing heavily in relationships with high-performers across various fields. I joined mastermind groups where seven-figure revenues were the norm, not the exception. I sought out mentors who had already achieved what I aspired to accomplish.

The results were transformative. Literally everything in my life has improved and yours can too - I’ve seen it in so many of my clients before.

This isn't just about professional success—it's about life optimization. The relationships you maintain today are writing the story of your tomorrow. They're either pulling you toward excellence or anchoring you to mediocrity. There is no neutral ground.

The question isn't whether your relationships are shaping your future—they absolutely are. The question is whether you're going to take control of this process. Will you actively architect your relationship portfolio, or will you let it develop by default?

Remember: Every relationship either elevates your standards or erodes them. Every connection either expands your vision of what's possible or constrains it. Every interaction either energizes you toward your goals or depletes you away from them.

The time for strategic relationship architecture is now. Your future self is being shaped by the relationships you choose to nurture today. Choose wisely. Choose intentionally. Choose for growth.

After all, you're not just selecting friends—you're selecting the future version of yourself.

If you’ve read this far, I know you’re wanting to change your life in some way.  So, I challenge you over the next month to do an assessment of the people in your life and I want to hear from you - how many of them are wanting the same level of personal growth as you are?

Let me know!

Paul Oneid, MS. MS. CSCS

Founder and Head Coach, Master Athletic Performance