When “Wanting It” Isn’t the Same as Wanting to Become HER

Guest Post - Olivia Oneid

There’s a difference between wanting to do the thing and wanting to become the person.

One of my clients said something really important recently.

She told me she wants to prioritize her nutrition and training this year because she wants to, not because she has to, or because it’s the only thing holding her together.

That distinction matters.

But here’s the part that often gets missed.

There will still be days when you don’t want to go to the gym.
Days when tracking your food feels annoying.
Days when the exact thing required of you is the last thing you feel like doing.

That doesn’t mean you suddenly don’t “want this” anymore.

It means you’re confusingdesirewithidentity.

Wanting to train.
Wanting to eat well.
Wanting to feel strong and capable.

Those wants come and go.

Identity doesn’t.

When you’re building a new version of yourself, the work doesn’t hinge on whether today feels aligned or motivating. It hinges on whether you’re willing to act in service of the person you’re becoming, even when the action itself isn’t exciting.

You don’t become consistent by wanting to track.
You become consistent by deciding, this is who I am now.

Someone who trains, even on low-energy days.
Someone who fuels themselves, even when it would be easier not to think about it.
Someone who keeps promises to themselves. Not being perfect, but repeating consistent action over time.

This is where many people get stuck.

They wait towantthe habit every day.
They wait for motivation to feel clean and aligned.
They wait for the work to emotionally match the vision.

But identity change doesn’t work that way.

You don’t need towantto do the thing.
You need to want to become the kind of person who does it anyway.

That’s your choice every single day.

And over time, something interesting happens.

The friction decreases.
The habits feel less heavy.
The decisions feel clearer.

Not because it got easier, but because it becameyou.

This is exactly what I help my clients build.

Systems, structure, and support that help identity change actually stick, even when motivation dips, and life gets messy.

If you’re tired of starting over every time the “want” fades, and you’re ready to build habits you can live with long-term, that’s the work we do together.

You don’t need more willpower. You need the right framework and someone to help you apply it to your life.

Olivia Oneid

Coach, Master Athletic Performance