Why Focusing on the Solution Gets You Further Than Focusing on the Struggle

Focusing on the problem won’t help you find a solution

We all do it.

• “I’m so out of shape.”

• “My partner never listens.”

• “I’ll never hit my goals.”

Those thoughts feel real. They feel justified. But thinking and talking that way doesn’t move you forward. It reinforces being stuck.

There’s a difference between honest self-reflection and rehearsing the problem like it’s a favourite song on repeat.

The Negative Loop and Why It Lingers

When you describe your challenges over and over, loudly, online, or just in your own head, your brain starts to treat them like facts, not obstacles. In fact, many of the statements we use in these instances start with “I…”, which implies that it’s part of your identity. The more you talk about the problem, the more you mentally stay in the problem.

This shows up everywhere.

In relationships. Complaining about your partner doesn’t change behaviour. It trains your brain to see the relationship as broken rather than fixable and builds resentment.

In parenting. Constant negativity about your kids may feel like venting, but it shapes your expectations and responses - theirs, too!

In your health and fitness. “I’m fat,” “I’m weak,” or “I never stick to anything” aren’t neutral observations. They are beliefs you reinforce and potentially become your identity.

What you focus on grows.

Struggle vs Solution in Fitness

Fitness makes this pattern obvious.

Let’s say your goal is to get stronger. If you focus on the struggle, it sounds like this.

• “I’m so weak.”

• “I’ve always been bad at squats.”

• “I never progress.”

You feel worse, dread training, and unconsciously act in ways that reinforce those beliefs.

If you focus on the way out, it sounds like this.

• “I haven't hit this weight yet, but I’m adding 2.5 pounds each session.”

• “Technique improved this week.”

• “Last month I couldn’t do this, now I can.”

• Or even, “I had a bad session today, but I can be better tomorrow.”

Your brain starts scanning for improvements, not failures.

This is not fake positivity. It is a strategic focus. You acknowledge reality, but you invest more energy in solutions than in the trap.

What You Pay Attention To Gets Stronger

Your brain adapts to what you practice mentally.

If you constantly rehearse what is wrong, your brain becomes good at finding what is wrong.

If you constantly rehearse what moves you forward, your brain becomes good at finding progress.

Fitness proves this every week.

You miss a lift. Negative loop says, “I always fail.” The result is doubt and hesitation.

Solution focus says, “What limited me today, and what do I change next time?” The result is a plan.

Same event. Different future.

How This Shows Up Week to Week

You miss a PR. Struggle focus says, “I always miss PRs.” You feel smaller. Training feels heavier.

Solution focus says, “Sleep was bad, warm-up was rushed, bar path was off.”

Now you know what to fix.

Next week you move better, even if the number is not higher yet.

That is progress.

Progress is not just numbers. It is better habits, better execution, better consistency.

Talking About Your Life Builds the Blueprint

The way you talk about your life becomes the blueprint your brain follows.

• If you constantly say your relationship is broken, your brain stops looking for ways to build it.

• If you constantly say your body is bad, your brain stops treating it with respect.

• If you constantly say you always fail, your brain starts acting like failure is normal.

But when your language shifts, your direction shifts.

• From “I’m stuck” to “Here’s what I changed this week.”

• From “I’ll never be lean” to “Here’s my next habit.”

• From “This is hopeless” to “This is my next move.”

You do not ignore reality. You just stop letting it trap you.

How to Shift the Loop

• Write next steps, not just complaints.

• Replace “never” with “not yet.”

• Talk about what improved before what failed.

• Set small, clear actions you can actually do.

• Respect effort, not just outcomes.

In the gym, that means praising consistency, better form, smarter training, not just PRs.

In life, it means noticing growth, not just gaps.

In the gym and in life, negativity does not solve problems. It just trains you to live inside them.

You do not climb out of a hole by describing how deep it is. You climb by looking for handholds.

Name what is hard. Then ask, What is one move that makes this better?”

Focus on the way out. That is where change lives.

Nat Galloway

Coach, Master Athletic Performance