Are Your Friends Not on Board With Your Fitness Goals?
Are Your Friends Not on Board With Your Fitness Goals?
I often see this with my clients, and it’s something I deal with in my own life… although not so much anymore since I’ve shifted the expectations of those around me after doing this for 20 years.
“Come on, you don’t want to have just one bite?”
“What’s one drink gonna do?”
“You really want to look like THAT?!”
The list of insensitive and off-hand comments is truly too long to list, but the same theme is always there:
You decide to abstain from something, whether it be food, alcohol, or even a late-night out.
Those you’re with don’t understand and proceed to be generally unsupportive.
You’re left either feeling guilty or questioning the legitimacy of your pursuits.
The easy solution is to make an excuse…
“No, I shouldn’t have that food, my stomach has been upset lately.” *This used to be my go-to.
“I’ve got a big day tomorrow, so I shouldn’t drink.”
“I can’t stay out late, one of the dogs is sick.”
I used to make excuses all the time until I realized that I was doing MYSELF a disservice by doing so.
Here are a few pieces of insight for you:
Your goals are not for anyone other than yourself.
You do not need to justify your goals to anyone.
Your most negative friends and family wish they could do what you’re doing, and their comments are deeply rooted in insecurity.
That last point is very important—most of the time, the people who are the most opposed to you pursuing personal development are self-conscious that they cannot make the decision to do the same, and their attempts to guilt you into matching their behaviours are in an attempt to make themselves feel better.
Point blank, they’re jealous of you.
The other thing to note is that every time you make an excuse, you miss out on an opportunity to educate people on the changes you’re making and why. They don’t need to understand or agree, but being honest is always the best way.
Say it once and be done with it.
Lastly, you need to be okay with relationships changing. Personally, I have no space in my life for negativity. That said, I have many friends who have wildly different lifestyles from mine. Just because someone doesn’t adopt the same habits as you doesn’t mean you need to cut them off, but should they try to make you feel bad about your choices?
Pound sand, buddy.
Environment is everything, and the people you surround yourself with are a large part of that. So, when you decide to make a massive change to your behaviours, be prepared for some pushback.
Please do me a favour and remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. Be true to yourself and honest in your communication, and choose the path forward for that relationship that serves you.
Goals are more easily achieved when you’re not getting dragged down by others.
Your path won't always be understood, but it can be supported. Book a call with me or one of our coaches who get it: www.masterathletic.com.
Stay Strong,
Paul Oneid, MS. MS. CSCS
Founder and Head Coach
