If you can’t be honest with your coach, you can’t be honest with yourself - Olivia Oneid
If you can’t be honest with your coach, you can’t be honest with yourself
Guest Post - Olivia Oneid
We need to talk about honesty.
Not “confess your sins” honesty.
“I’m a grown adult choosing how I want to feel in my body” honesty.
Here’s the truth: when you aren’t honest with your coach, you’re also not being honest with yourself. And that matters, because your coach adjusts the plan based on the feedback you give. If the feedback isn’t real, the plan can’t be either. Put another way: garbage data → garbage plan → frustrating results.
Why honesty gets hard (two big reasons)
You’re trying to meet imagined expectations.
If you believe your coach will be disappointed, you’ll filter your check-ins. “I hit the plan” sounds safer than “I ate out three times and nibbled the pantry.” But coaching isn’t a performance review; it’s collaboration. Your body responds to reality, not the version you wish happened.You don’t feel safe.
If a coach has ever shamed you, rushed changes, or made you feel like a failure, of course honesty feels risky. You need a relationship where the default is curiosity over judgment. (On my team that’s the standard: zero shame, 100% problem-solving.)
What honesty lets us do (fast)
Adjust targets to your actual life. If your weekends are a calorie tornado, I won’t slash weekday food and pray. I’ll fix weekends (skills, structure, and strategy) and likely bring you to maintenance for a bit. Paradoxically, that often leans people out.
Match tools to your temperament. Some do great on exact macros. Others thrive on calories + protein minimum + simple action items(e.g., “4 meals; protein + produce each time”). If your brain is playing macro Tetris at 10pm, we’ll stop forcing a tool that doesn’t fit.
Time phases well. Fat loss requires precision. If your habits can’t support that precision right now (holidays, travel, stress), we’ll hit maintenance, stack wins, and prime you for a clean cut later—instead of grinding in neutral and calling it “discipline.”
How we coach through this (my framework)
Reality first. We get the real week on paper—no shame, just facts.
Pick the constraint. Is it structure (no plan), skill (don’t know how), or story (mindset/fear/perfection)? Often it’s one primary thing.
Adjust the plan, not your worth. Calories, protein, ranges, meal structure, training split—these are dials, not judgments.
Reps in the hard places. Potlucks, buffets, travel, weekends. We practice these like getting reps in. You don’t master any skill without intentional practice.
Measure what matters. Photos, trend weight, strength, energy, digestion, cycle, sleep, mood. If the inputs are honest, the trends make sense—and we can move fast.
A note for anyone who’s felt shamed by coaching
If a coach made you feel small, that’s on them. You deserve a coach who helps you solve, not scold. The plan should fit your life, not the other way around. My promise: I’ll never be mad at the truth. I can only coach what’s real.
The Honesty Checklist (screenshot this)
I reported what actually happened, not what I hoped would happen.
I included weekends, alcohol, snacks, and meals out.
I shared stress/sleep/period/travel changes.
I asked for an adjustment when a tool stopped working.
I picked one environment to get reps in this week (restaurant, potluck, or snack-time).
I listed 2–3 wins I’m proud of—because progress isn’t just the scale.
If you want a plan that flexes with your life (and a coach who will never shames the truth), apply for 1-1 coaching here →[Apply to Master Athletic Performance]
Prefer to start with structure + community? Reply “GROUP” to [email protected] and I’ll send the next start date.
Olivia Oneid
Coach, Master Athletic Performance
